Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Toilet Adventure At NehruPlace

I have to get it out straight. I cannot think other than my adventure today. I was in the deep slumber under warmth of my faithful blanket when Ata( I call him as he likes to be respected) woke me up. I wanted to sleep but he wouldn’t let me. When I woke up, it was 11 o’clock which is always too early to wake especially for hardworking guy like me. He wanted to me to accompany him to Nehru Place to buy his sound system as if his loud shouting is not enough to be heard. Perhaps he wants to praise himself through hitech sound system.

I didn’t want to go. I excused on the ground of my limping leg ( which may limp for whole life). He told me it was good for my neuropathic feet to get little exercise. So, after three splashes of water onto my jackfruit cover-like face, I limped after him into overcrowded bus. Ten ruppees away from my apartment, I reached at Nehru Place after lots of pushings and pullings. I was crushed in the crowd so much that I wanted to unload last night’s dinner. The problem in Indian city is that you hardly find shit-store/ leak-store (toilet). You can face the wall and take a leak. Nobody will see you and mind you, if you close your eyes and take a leak. But this shit unloading is tough job especially in day time if you don’t toilet well in the morning.

After scouring whole city, we came across dilapidated washroom with many layers of yellow wastes stack one upon another. By that time, I was controlling even my breath as I didn’t want to shit on my pant. “Khali hai Kya,’’ I rushed in without waiting for reply ready to pull down my pant. “Sahab, it is 3 ruppee ,’’ the man on rat- eaten chair told me. Damn, I have forgotten how Indian Service works. Pay before use just like house rent is paid at the beginning of every month despite payment of two months security.I buckled back my belt and groped into my pocket. I fished out 5-ruppee coined and flipped at him. “keep the change,’’ I said looking briefly at dirty smirk on his face and white teeth protuding.

Banging closethe door, I let yellow erosion of mine formed another sediment on already piled sediments of shits. I had to hold door with one hand as there was no latch. After relieving, I felt so good till I realized that I had to clean my uhmmm.. waste-pipe. I looked here and there though I knew there will be nothing. Again I groped into my coat pocket. I felt paper in one of my pockets. Lo, it is photocopy of fascimile I sent to Ministry. I tore it and cleaned my exit- point(bottom).

After washing my hand summarily (as water comes drop by drop in tap), I came out with smile in my face just to find Ata holding his belly. He gave me ‘what took you so long’ kind of look and rushed into toilet vacated by me. I heard him moaning with relief as shit came out of his Exit-point with unwilling groan.

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