Saturday, December 26, 2009

Why I Write

‘Your writing sucks,’ my high school teachers barked into my face. I became red-faced but he was right. My writing sucked and I know it still sucks. I don’t know why I write. Morever, I don’t know why I can’t write as good as others do. I am lost to know the reason. I only know one thing; I write because I grew up in school with friends, some of whom had memorized dictionary and some of whom won every major literary competitions held in school as well as in whole Bhutan competition. When I tried my hand in writing for the first time, there was only one person who encouraged me. He told me that I could write as well as anybody provided I put right efforts. He was my friend who is in Kanglung scooping up the prize in essays everytime he participated.

Although, I can’t write like him, I still try. I try writing atleast a page before I go to distant land called Sleep. I write. I tore the papers I write and throw into bin. Then I looked at dustbin reasoning myself that I can’t I write good enough. I can’t I write good enough because I am not putting right effort. I can’t write because I don’t analyze what I read. I can’t write because I see bottle half-empty when others see half-filled bottle. I take it everything in negative way. I was born that way and brought that way facing every injustice society can throw into my face. Every time, I want to write good things, the experience tells me other ways. I am unreasonably critical of everything and I don’t believe a word of what I read it. That could be the reason my writing sucks.

Anyway, I write because there is nothing else to do. I write just to kill the boring phase of my life as loneliness always tries to kill me. Loneliness is mirror reflecting the hell I went through in my life. I don’t want to feel lonely. I don’t want to remember the past. I just want to escape in some kind of magical vehicle. Previously, I used to drink and use drugs to forget the past but now my health doesn’t permit me. Writing is only way and last option left for me to escape loneliness.

Now I am addicted to some kind of writings, I don’t want to give up. I won’t give up even if I get well enough to drink and use drugs. Writing has become part of my life. My writing may be too bad to read. It may not be read by anyone. Still I will write for just sake of writing. I will write for my whims. I will not stop writing even if Lord Buddha tells me never to write. As long as I have ink in pen, as long as I have sheet of paper, as long as there is fire in my brain, as long as there is beat in my heart and as long as there is movement in my hand, I will keep on writing.

GNH; What I Understand

I have been hearing about Gross National Happiness since I could remember. As innocent child in the school, I didn’t bother to know what is GNH? Later I coined my own definition as happiness in the nation. I didn’t know how to define other way.

Later in high school, I was taught that GNH as an aggregate measure of a country's national production, in the vein of the gross national product or gross domestic product. Gross national happiness (GNH) attempts to measure the sum total not only of economic output, but also of net environmental impacts, the spiritual and cultural growth of citizens, mental and physical health and the strength of the corporate and political systems.

However, this concept, in my perception gets murkier as more academia tries to put in his concept. He can’t be wrong as it is such subjective concept but everybody can’t be right. We can have thousand branches but we need to have only one trunk. Otherwise GNH will be lost in translation and creation by various scholars. His Majesty, the fourth delivered lecture titled ‘Changing World and Timeless Values’ at Madhavroa Scinda Memorial Lecture, New Delhi on 23th December, 2009. He said, “… today, GNH has come to mean so many things to so many people but to me, it signifies simply- Development with Values’’ For him, GNH is developmental philosophy with holistic ways of thinking. GNH is a philosophy of development to be carried out by those who have mind to think for others and heart to bleed for others.

As a matter of fact, I felt that we don’t need to invent ways to measure GNH. We don’t need academia to understand the concept and we don’t need scientist to built measuring tools. What we can do is we can measure with GDP with grassroots level in mind. We should suffer with those who suffer and try to share your laughter. In absolute, I understand GNH as in the example. If you have three apples and both you and your friend are starving, how are you going to share the apples? Is giving all apples to friend and starving yourself GNH? Is giving two to your friend and keeping one apple to yourself GNH? Is eating all three by you GNH? Is giving one apple to friend and eating two apples yourself a GNH? Is sharing in equal quantity a GNH? As for me, sharing one and half apples each will be GNH?

I sign out with quote from His Majesty, ‘we strive for the benefits of economic growth and modernization while ensuring that in our drive to acquire greater status and wealth we do not forget to nurture that which makes us happy to be Bhutanese.’’

Will Secretaries be Re-appointed? If Yes, Why It Kills My Opportunity

It is not my business and it won’t be my business but I want to make it my business. As a student finishing graduation ready to battle odds against the world, it gives me heady feeling when I think about aspirations of mine. I know I have long way to go after graduation. I have to appear for civil service examination which has little to do with sixteen years of sweating among books. My luck and hardwork must pay to walk into door of civil service.

Assuming that I get selected (that I will), I have to start from P5 which is long journey to reach EX1A, which is highest post a sincere civil servant can aspire. There are many miles to be walked and many hurdles to be overcame to reach that place with around sixty years of my age as ultimate deadline.

According to Constitution(if I am right), the tenure for secretary is 5 years which is welcoming news for young man like me who is ready to walk up the steps no matter how hard it is. There are many cabable people who are more strong and talented waiting to step at new level of elevated platform occupied by senoirs. In my opinion,secretaries of now have already served their opportunity. If re-appointed, they will not be filling the space that will be filled by young and dynamic leaders but also obstructing the opportunity for younger generation to prove their mettle.

I have great conviction that present secretaries are man with wisdom and talents who have served the nation with great integrity and dedication. Still, I believe their tenures are constitutionally over and it is right time for them to hand over their reins to person below them with good faith and words of wisdom. There are many aspiring and able person who will never reach at that pinacle as only ten dedicated civil servants become secretaries every five years but it will atleast give chance for ten more people to become secretaries if this ten present secretarie are not re-appointed. It will make journey lesser than five years for those ten future secretaries who are starting their careers as petty officers this year.

However, it is not for me to decide this and ask for decisions. It is upto government and constitution to decide it. I will be happy if all ten secretaries of present are re-appointed and I will be more than happy if new secretaries appointed. I say in good faith and jocund mood that not re-appointing present secretaries may shorten my journey to secretarial post by five years. It is my selfish and blasphemous reason why present secretaries mustn’t be re-appointed. Till then, I will wait for my red scarf.