Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Toilet Adventure At NehruPlace

I have to get it out straight. I cannot think other than my adventure today. I was in the deep slumber under warmth of my faithful blanket when Ata( I call him as he likes to be respected) woke me up. I wanted to sleep but he wouldn’t let me. When I woke up, it was 11 o’clock which is always too early to wake especially for hardworking guy like me. He wanted to me to accompany him to Nehru Place to buy his sound system as if his loud shouting is not enough to be heard. Perhaps he wants to praise himself through hitech sound system.

I didn’t want to go. I excused on the ground of my limping leg ( which may limp for whole life). He told me it was good for my neuropathic feet to get little exercise. So, after three splashes of water onto my jackfruit cover-like face, I limped after him into overcrowded bus. Ten ruppees away from my apartment, I reached at Nehru Place after lots of pushings and pullings. I was crushed in the crowd so much that I wanted to unload last night’s dinner. The problem in Indian city is that you hardly find shit-store/ leak-store (toilet). You can face the wall and take a leak. Nobody will see you and mind you, if you close your eyes and take a leak. But this shit unloading is tough job especially in day time if you don’t toilet well in the morning.

After scouring whole city, we came across dilapidated washroom with many layers of yellow wastes stack one upon another. By that time, I was controlling even my breath as I didn’t want to shit on my pant. “Khali hai Kya,’’ I rushed in without waiting for reply ready to pull down my pant. “Sahab, it is 3 ruppee ,’’ the man on rat- eaten chair told me. Damn, I have forgotten how Indian Service works. Pay before use just like house rent is paid at the beginning of every month despite payment of two months security.I buckled back my belt and groped into my pocket. I fished out 5-ruppee coined and flipped at him. “keep the change,’’ I said looking briefly at dirty smirk on his face and white teeth protuding.

Banging closethe door, I let yellow erosion of mine formed another sediment on already piled sediments of shits. I had to hold door with one hand as there was no latch. After relieving, I felt so good till I realized that I had to clean my uhmmm.. waste-pipe. I looked here and there though I knew there will be nothing. Again I groped into my coat pocket. I felt paper in one of my pockets. Lo, it is photocopy of fascimile I sent to Ministry. I tore it and cleaned my exit- point(bottom).

After washing my hand summarily (as water comes drop by drop in tap), I came out with smile in my face just to find Ata holding his belly. He gave me ‘what took you so long’ kind of look and rushed into toilet vacated by me. I heard him moaning with relief as shit came out of his Exit-point with unwilling groan.

Red Scarf's bytes and me

It has been a day since I last put you into sleep with my writing. By now, I hope you are awake and energetic but I feel pity on you guys who toil day in and day out to fill the belly which keeps on throwing half of what you eat as waste. This writing is for those who are tired and wanted to sleep. This is also for those who are insomniac because of stress and depression at home and work place. If you want to go to sleep, please read this piece. By the time, you finish reading, you will really go to sound slumber unless your hyperactive spouse wake you middle of night for some nocturnal tryst.

I would dreamt myself as imminent journalist of Bhutan interviewing our Honourable Ministers and other orange scarfed politicians for short bytes to print in my newspaper, NonSense.

Me; Mr. Prime Minister, how do you define GNH?

Prime Minister; it is simple. Government Needs Help.

Me (To Hon Tshogpoen) what do you think is major achievement of House in two years?

Speaker; we raised salary for MPs twice.

Me; Your Excellency, how do you defend your Ministry for sending fund to Sri Lankan college where your daughter study medicine before House approved it.

Education Minister; Charity begins from home.

Me ;( Lyonpo Ugyen Tshering) you never speaks in Assembly, why is it?

Foreign Minister; I am supposed to speak foreign language. Dzongkha is not foreign language.

Me; ( Lyonpo Nandala Rai) where do you think will be our communication and information system in next five year ?

Communication Minister; I am still trying to communicate in dzongkha and read the information in dzongkha too. Guess the rest.

Me; (Lyonpo Pema Gyamtsho) Sir, critics say that they don’t even need Agriculture Minister, what do you like to tell them?

Agriculture Minister; I am doing lot for farmers. I initiated ‘no vehicle day’ as farmer can’t produce petrol and diesel from jersey and peanut. If critics think farmer should, then they are fools.

Me; (To Lyonpo Yeshi Jinpa) every major constructions are fraught with design flaws and substandard in qualities or delays. For instance, new national referral hospital in Thimphu has many design flaws and some alleged that even lifts are not in workable conditions. Why do you think these happen?

Work and Human settlement Minister; first of all, your question is too general. As for referral hospital, fault lies with doctors. They couldn’t diagnose the subject(building) at earlier stages.

Me ;( Lyonpo Wangdi Norbu) Sir, don’t you think it is morally wrong to raise the pay for MPs when country is still reeling under natural disaster in the east?

Finance Minister; don’t you worry, Nu. 250 millions grants given by Indian Government will be more than enough for them (victims).

Me; (Lyonpo Khandu Wangchuk); Can you tell us briefly about country’s economic policies for next three years?

Minister for Economic Affairs; I will consult Dasho Karma Ura and GNH chairman.

Me; ( Lyonpo Dorji Wangdi) Unemployment is growing every year. Do you have any comprehensive plans to reduce unemployment rate?

Employment Minister; Even I have to look for job after three years.

Me (to Lyonpo Zangley Drukpa); shortage of doctors is major issues in our country. What are the steps your ministry is taking to solve such shortage?

Health Ministers; for one thing I am certain; I can’t treat patients with my education background.

Me (to Lyonpo Minjur Dorji); Chorten and lhakhang vandalisms are increasing in our country. What your ministry is doing to curb such criminal activities?

Home Minister; I am minister for home. That explains a lot.

Me (Chairman Tshering Penjor); what is your opinion on issue of pay raise?

NC Chairman; it is great that it is only thing we could approve through consensus.

Me; ( Dasho Tshering Tobgay)Do you think, there is any merit in Prime Minister’s statement that there is threat to democracy from within Bhutan?

Leader of Opposition; probably, he is beginning to hallucinate and think Dasho Damche and me as threat when we oppose. It is time to wake up.

(Note; this is neither political opinion nor personal defamation. This shouldn’t be taken seriously by readers)

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Why I Write

‘Your writing sucks,’ my high school teachers barked into my face. I became red-faced but he was right. My writing sucked and I know it still sucks. I don’t know why I write. Morever, I don’t know why I can’t write as good as others do. I am lost to know the reason. I only know one thing; I write because I grew up in school with friends, some of whom had memorized dictionary and some of whom won every major literary competitions held in school as well as in whole Bhutan competition. When I tried my hand in writing for the first time, there was only one person who encouraged me. He told me that I could write as well as anybody provided I put right efforts. He was my friend who is in Kanglung scooping up the prize in essays everytime he participated.

Although, I can’t write like him, I still try. I try writing atleast a page before I go to distant land called Sleep. I write. I tore the papers I write and throw into bin. Then I looked at dustbin reasoning myself that I can’t I write good enough. I can’t I write good enough because I am not putting right effort. I can’t write because I don’t analyze what I read. I can’t write because I see bottle half-empty when others see half-filled bottle. I take it everything in negative way. I was born that way and brought that way facing every injustice society can throw into my face. Every time, I want to write good things, the experience tells me other ways. I am unreasonably critical of everything and I don’t believe a word of what I read it. That could be the reason my writing sucks.

Anyway, I write because there is nothing else to do. I write just to kill the boring phase of my life as loneliness always tries to kill me. Loneliness is mirror reflecting the hell I went through in my life. I don’t want to feel lonely. I don’t want to remember the past. I just want to escape in some kind of magical vehicle. Previously, I used to drink and use drugs to forget the past but now my health doesn’t permit me. Writing is only way and last option left for me to escape loneliness.

Now I am addicted to some kind of writings, I don’t want to give up. I won’t give up even if I get well enough to drink and use drugs. Writing has become part of my life. My writing may be too bad to read. It may not be read by anyone. Still I will write for just sake of writing. I will write for my whims. I will not stop writing even if Lord Buddha tells me never to write. As long as I have ink in pen, as long as I have sheet of paper, as long as there is fire in my brain, as long as there is beat in my heart and as long as there is movement in my hand, I will keep on writing.

GNH; What I Understand

I have been hearing about Gross National Happiness since I could remember. As innocent child in the school, I didn’t bother to know what is GNH? Later I coined my own definition as happiness in the nation. I didn’t know how to define other way.

Later in high school, I was taught that GNH as an aggregate measure of a country's national production, in the vein of the gross national product or gross domestic product. Gross national happiness (GNH) attempts to measure the sum total not only of economic output, but also of net environmental impacts, the spiritual and cultural growth of citizens, mental and physical health and the strength of the corporate and political systems.

However, this concept, in my perception gets murkier as more academia tries to put in his concept. He can’t be wrong as it is such subjective concept but everybody can’t be right. We can have thousand branches but we need to have only one trunk. Otherwise GNH will be lost in translation and creation by various scholars. His Majesty, the fourth delivered lecture titled ‘Changing World and Timeless Values’ at Madhavroa Scinda Memorial Lecture, New Delhi on 23th December, 2009. He said, “… today, GNH has come to mean so many things to so many people but to me, it signifies simply- Development with Values’’ For him, GNH is developmental philosophy with holistic ways of thinking. GNH is a philosophy of development to be carried out by those who have mind to think for others and heart to bleed for others.

As a matter of fact, I felt that we don’t need to invent ways to measure GNH. We don’t need academia to understand the concept and we don’t need scientist to built measuring tools. What we can do is we can measure with GDP with grassroots level in mind. We should suffer with those who suffer and try to share your laughter. In absolute, I understand GNH as in the example. If you have three apples and both you and your friend are starving, how are you going to share the apples? Is giving all apples to friend and starving yourself GNH? Is giving two to your friend and keeping one apple to yourself GNH? Is eating all three by you GNH? Is giving one apple to friend and eating two apples yourself a GNH? Is sharing in equal quantity a GNH? As for me, sharing one and half apples each will be GNH?

I sign out with quote from His Majesty, ‘we strive for the benefits of economic growth and modernization while ensuring that in our drive to acquire greater status and wealth we do not forget to nurture that which makes us happy to be Bhutanese.’’

Will Secretaries be Re-appointed? If Yes, Why It Kills My Opportunity

It is not my business and it won’t be my business but I want to make it my business. As a student finishing graduation ready to battle odds against the world, it gives me heady feeling when I think about aspirations of mine. I know I have long way to go after graduation. I have to appear for civil service examination which has little to do with sixteen years of sweating among books. My luck and hardwork must pay to walk into door of civil service.

Assuming that I get selected (that I will), I have to start from P5 which is long journey to reach EX1A, which is highest post a sincere civil servant can aspire. There are many miles to be walked and many hurdles to be overcame to reach that place with around sixty years of my age as ultimate deadline.

According to Constitution(if I am right), the tenure for secretary is 5 years which is welcoming news for young man like me who is ready to walk up the steps no matter how hard it is. There are many cabable people who are more strong and talented waiting to step at new level of elevated platform occupied by senoirs. In my opinion,secretaries of now have already served their opportunity. If re-appointed, they will not be filling the space that will be filled by young and dynamic leaders but also obstructing the opportunity for younger generation to prove their mettle.

I have great conviction that present secretaries are man with wisdom and talents who have served the nation with great integrity and dedication. Still, I believe their tenures are constitutionally over and it is right time for them to hand over their reins to person below them with good faith and words of wisdom. There are many aspiring and able person who will never reach at that pinacle as only ten dedicated civil servants become secretaries every five years but it will atleast give chance for ten more people to become secretaries if this ten present secretarie are not re-appointed. It will make journey lesser than five years for those ten future secretaries who are starting their careers as petty officers this year.

However, it is not for me to decide this and ask for decisions. It is upto government and constitution to decide it. I will be happy if all ten secretaries of present are re-appointed and I will be more than happy if new secretaries appointed. I say in good faith and jocund mood that not re-appointing present secretaries may shorten my journey to secretarial post by five years. It is my selfish and blasphemous reason why present secretaries mustn’t be re-appointed. Till then, I will wait for my red scarf.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Flower- Rabindranath Tagore


Pluck this little flower and take it, delay not! I fear lest it

droop and drop into the dust.

I may not find a place in thy garland, but honour it with a touch of

pain from thy hand and pluck it. I fear lest the day end before I am

aware, and the time of offering go by.

Though its colour be not deep and its smell be faint, use this flower

in thy service and pluck it while there is time.

Rabindranath Tagore

This poem is taken from Gitanjali, the song of offerings by Rabindranath Tagore. It was first written in Bengali and was translated into English by author himself. Gitanjali is a collection of songs which are offered to God.

The poet was born in the year 1861 and passed away in 1901. He was poet, philosopher, dramatist and novelist. He won the Novel Prize for literature for Gitanjali, which he relinquished later protesting Jalanwalah Bagh Massacres.

Here the Poet asks God to pluck the flower. He wants God to take it without hurry because he is afraid that if it is kept in the garden for long, it will get old, wilt and fall down on the dusty ground uselessly.

It is sure that flower may not be worth to put around neck of God as garland. Still, it will be lucky if God takes times and efforts to pluck it with His own hand. Poet also thinks, it will be late to offer to God if it is not plucked quickly as time for offering has already come.

Poet says that flower may not be as beautiful as others with rich colours and it may not have very good scent, still he wants God to pluck it to use as His service when the flower is still fresh and lively.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My Preparation For Marriage

Marriage is human bondage created by an illusion called love which wears of after certain period of time. Your partner is your jailor who pretends to care about you when she/ he wants your service and care. Children, as innocent as angels, are nought but rope that tether you to herd curtailing your own freedom. We, as human beings have tendency to sacrifice our own happiness for marriage, family and security though there is no guarantee that they will be near you when you need them.

Keeping all this in mine, I am preparing for biggest occasion of my life i.e., marriage. I want to enjoy after marriage like I am enjoying now( if I can, more than now) without causing disharmony in my relation with spouse. As a first step of preparation, I am reading a book ( Lord be praised for it is first book I read other than textbook) called “how to cheat your spouse without arousing suspicion.” It doesn’t guarantee hundred person applicability but for starter who wants to cheat his spouse, it is excellent book I can recommend to every male who wants to cheat his wife( I know most men cheat but unfortunately some are caught). For me, it is an excellent opportunity to learn arts of cheating and arts of pretension of loving wife if I get bored with her.

Then, I have another book in the shelf tittled, “How to Catch Cheating Spouse’’ as precaution against my future wife if she gets suspicious. This is also good book and I can recommend it to woman who gets cheated but like first book, it doesn’t guarantee hundred percent applicability.

Lastly, I thank my teachers for briefing me every now and then on importance of reading else I wouldn’t have known such idea exist in the books that are beyond textbooks.

***Please wish me luck in my future marriage..hehehe.