Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Red Scarf's bytes and me

It has been a day since I last put you into sleep with my writing. By now, I hope you are awake and energetic but I feel pity on you guys who toil day in and day out to fill the belly which keeps on throwing half of what you eat as waste. This writing is for those who are tired and wanted to sleep. This is also for those who are insomniac because of stress and depression at home and work place. If you want to go to sleep, please read this piece. By the time, you finish reading, you will really go to sound slumber unless your hyperactive spouse wake you middle of night for some nocturnal tryst.

I would dreamt myself as imminent journalist of Bhutan interviewing our Honourable Ministers and other orange scarfed politicians for short bytes to print in my newspaper, NonSense.

Me; Mr. Prime Minister, how do you define GNH?

Prime Minister; it is simple. Government Needs Help.

Me (To Hon Tshogpoen) what do you think is major achievement of House in two years?

Speaker; we raised salary for MPs twice.

Me; Your Excellency, how do you defend your Ministry for sending fund to Sri Lankan college where your daughter study medicine before House approved it.

Education Minister; Charity begins from home.

Me ;( Lyonpo Ugyen Tshering) you never speaks in Assembly, why is it?

Foreign Minister; I am supposed to speak foreign language. Dzongkha is not foreign language.

Me; ( Lyonpo Nandala Rai) where do you think will be our communication and information system in next five year ?

Communication Minister; I am still trying to communicate in dzongkha and read the information in dzongkha too. Guess the rest.

Me; (Lyonpo Pema Gyamtsho) Sir, critics say that they don’t even need Agriculture Minister, what do you like to tell them?

Agriculture Minister; I am doing lot for farmers. I initiated ‘no vehicle day’ as farmer can’t produce petrol and diesel from jersey and peanut. If critics think farmer should, then they are fools.

Me; (To Lyonpo Yeshi Jinpa) every major constructions are fraught with design flaws and substandard in qualities or delays. For instance, new national referral hospital in Thimphu has many design flaws and some alleged that even lifts are not in workable conditions. Why do you think these happen?

Work and Human settlement Minister; first of all, your question is too general. As for referral hospital, fault lies with doctors. They couldn’t diagnose the subject(building) at earlier stages.

Me ;( Lyonpo Wangdi Norbu) Sir, don’t you think it is morally wrong to raise the pay for MPs when country is still reeling under natural disaster in the east?

Finance Minister; don’t you worry, Nu. 250 millions grants given by Indian Government will be more than enough for them (victims).

Me; (Lyonpo Khandu Wangchuk); Can you tell us briefly about country’s economic policies for next three years?

Minister for Economic Affairs; I will consult Dasho Karma Ura and GNH chairman.

Me; ( Lyonpo Dorji Wangdi) Unemployment is growing every year. Do you have any comprehensive plans to reduce unemployment rate?

Employment Minister; Even I have to look for job after three years.

Me (to Lyonpo Zangley Drukpa); shortage of doctors is major issues in our country. What are the steps your ministry is taking to solve such shortage?

Health Ministers; for one thing I am certain; I can’t treat patients with my education background.

Me (to Lyonpo Minjur Dorji); Chorten and lhakhang vandalisms are increasing in our country. What your ministry is doing to curb such criminal activities?

Home Minister; I am minister for home. That explains a lot.

Me (Chairman Tshering Penjor); what is your opinion on issue of pay raise?

NC Chairman; it is great that it is only thing we could approve through consensus.

Me; ( Dasho Tshering Tobgay)Do you think, there is any merit in Prime Minister’s statement that there is threat to democracy from within Bhutan?

Leader of Opposition; probably, he is beginning to hallucinate and think Dasho Damche and me as threat when we oppose. It is time to wake up.

(Note; this is neither political opinion nor personal defamation. This shouldn’t be taken seriously by readers)

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