“Climb up,” my friend whispered and nudged me during my recent visit to home. It was 11;00PM. Cold air blew rushing past us. Winter sky is jewelled with countless stars and blanched in moonlight.
“I can’t” I whispered wrapping towel around my neck tighter. “Don’t be coward,” he sneered at me. The word, ‘coward’ stung my heart like as if hit by shaft. It made me want prove him, that I was as brave as any other young men.
I took a deep breath, looked around and looked at the window. I pretended to study the surounding to buy little more time. My heart was beating like drum in the district Tshechu.My friend looked at me curiously. “There is one peg on the wall,’’ he informed. With shaky hand, I put my right leg on the peg and crawled up the wall towards window holding from some protuding stones of the wall.
After a minute which seemed like year, I got hold of window sill and slowly slided open the window. Suddenly, I felt house shaking. I thought it was another earthquake. “Is it earthquake?’’ I whispered down to my friend. “Don’t be a fool,” he said confused.However on closer scrutinisation, I found I was trembling all over. My heart was filled with thrilled fear mingled with unknown excitement.
I wanted to climb down but I couldn’t. I didn’t want my childhood friend to brand me coward. Slowly, I crawled into window, remembering every advice given by my friend. According to him, girl was supposed to be there and parents were supposed to be sleeping at outer room.
I groped my way and found the bed of girl. Slowly, inch by inch, I pulled blanket and finally got under warmth of blanket. The girl moaned in sleep, probably my cold body was taking away warmth. “Are you …” girl whispered. I couldn’t get the last word. I strained my ear near her face and asked, “what did you say?’’ “Are you Sonam.” “who the hell is Sonam?’’ I thought. Still I said, “yes’’
“ Where have you gone yesterday. I miss you” I didn’t know what to anwer. “I was with friend, I miss you too’’ I bluffed. Pretending to be other person is very difficult. Slowly, she turned towards me.I was filled with anticipation. She felt my face with her hand, then my hair and moustache. “you are not Sonam,’’ she declared. “I am,’’ I said trying to hold her. “no, you are not,’’ she said groping for kerosinelamp. Then she struck the matches. “who is it Zamin?’’ her mother called from other room. “mastong, ebi mo la ( I don’t know)” she replied.
Father and father woke up and came to daughter’s room. “Zhifi bu bilo mala( not letting us to sleep),’’ mother cursed. “Ji Godchona, tshing fodpa kongmey( I will beat till back broke),” father muttered. By now, lamp was lit. I wish I could disappear but I couldn’t. I covered my face with palm of two hands but how long? Father seemed to be angry. I didn’t want to end up being pulped down by his patang( sword). I let them looked at my face. After all, they were people of my village.
There was long silence as I waited ominously for eventual reaction. They looked among themselves and then at me. Suddenly, mother greeted with smile. “Kotsa cho Zhungkay hala ufa ( when did you come from thimphu?). I answered hesitantly “inning ( yesterday).’’
Ten minutes later, the girl made Bangchang. I drank as much as I could to drown my shame. After our drinks, they thought I was totally drunk and made bed for me at altar room.
You guess about rest of the night when parents gave me indirect permission.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Film Paa Synopsis
Paa tells the story of an intelligent and witty 13-year-old boy, Auro (Amitabh Bachchan), who suffers from progeria, an extremely rare genetic disorder wherein symptoms resembling aspects of aging are manifested at an early age. Mentally he is 13, very normal, but physically he looks 5 times older. In spite of his condition, Auro is a very happy boy.
Auro lives with his mother Vidya (Vidya Balan), a gynecologist. He is unaware that idealistic young Parliament-member Amol Arte (Abhishek Bachchan) is his father, who had a relationship with his mother while the two were students at Cambridge University. Amol, is young, progressive and a full of ideals, politician. He is out to prove to the world that 'politics' is not a bad word. He is a man with a mission.
After Arte meets Auro, whom he does not know is his son, at an event at the upscale Prince Edward VII School in Lucknow, the two develop an unlikely and occasionally difficult friendship, to Vidya's dismay. Auro eventually learns the truth, keeping it from Arte as he comes to grips with it himself.
Paa is a 'rare' story about a father-son, son-father relationship. Paa has a loud n clear message for everyone, everywhere in the world, for the change. "Be the change, You want to see"
Auro lives with his mother Vidya (Vidya Balan), a gynecologist. He is unaware that idealistic young Parliament-member Amol Arte (Abhishek Bachchan) is his father, who had a relationship with his mother while the two were students at Cambridge University. Amol, is young, progressive and a full of ideals, politician. He is out to prove to the world that 'politics' is not a bad word. He is a man with a mission.
After Arte meets Auro, whom he does not know is his son, at an event at the upscale Prince Edward VII School in Lucknow, the two develop an unlikely and occasionally difficult friendship, to Vidya's dismay. Auro eventually learns the truth, keeping it from Arte as he comes to grips with it himself.
Paa is a 'rare' story about a father-son, son-father relationship. Paa has a loud n clear message for everyone, everywhere in the world, for the change. "Be the change, You want to see"
Tobacco Ban;Sentimental Bill
Tobacco ban in Bhutan has not been successful and will not be successful.Five years ago, Bhutan got much acclaim as first country to have banned tobacco just like GNH(Government Never Helps) is hogging world’s limelight despite lack of implementation here. But after five years of tobacco ban, Bhutan achieved nothing.It only helped in growth of black market and smuggling business.
Smoking is a personal choice. It is freedom of individuals enshrined in sacred constitution to enjoy right to choice as long as they don’t harm another soul. National Assembly can ban smoking in public place, sacred place and come out with appropriate plan to punish miscreants but banning sale andbuying of tobacco is not only ludicrous, it also reflects orthodox religious sentiments of some of old guards in the House including ministers. Punishing tobacco buyer under Penal Code with citation of teachings by Guru Rinpoche and law made by Zhabdrung is retrogressive as well as recent constituted constitution’s enshrined article on freedom of choice.
I am non-smoker.I hate smoking but my rational mind refuses to accept that banning tobacco on ground of Buddhist teachings is irrational and sentimental. Buddhism must detect lives of bhutanese who have freedom of choosing religions. Buddhism is not reference point for banning tobacco, our thinking faculty is.
Accepting the Bill has noble step towards smoking country, I must say that what is more important than Bill is its implementation to realize the aims and objectives of bill. After all, every literate fool can have many ideas that are put on paper. What differentiate wise from fool is implemenation and realization of noble ideas.
Lastly, it is for us to see how government and organisation concerned implement the bill. Personally, my opinion says that when Bhutan couldn’t even implement previous bill which targeted sellers only, bhutan cannot implement these revised Bill.
Climate Change In Bhutan
Climate change is reality and it is turning into nightmares soon. In last twenty years, climate change has become extreme while leaders of the world still wait to see more dramatic disasters of climate changes and global warming. World leaders talk about climate change as if it is overused jargon. Developed country wants developing country to minimize the carbon emission while developing countries blamed developed country for global warming. There is no consensus and serious talk on fighting climate change. For twenty years, nations has meet annually to do something about it and every nation promise to cut down emission of carbon related harmful gases by certain percentages but they keep on increasing the scale of industries.
This time too in Copenhagen, 192 nations conference is going to be held on climate changes and some hoped that the change in leadership in US administration will bring some positives changes and all-encompassing packages. Meanwhile, in Bhutan climate change is not an alien idea but realized nightmares. This year, Bhutan experienced series of earthquakes in eastern Bhutan. Some orthodox people blamed that the natural disater in Bhutan become prominent after democracy which could be due to infidelity of government and people in accepting power from king( likened to God), the truth is these people are not thinking beyond their Pond (Like frog in the pond). Global warming has played its sinister role since few years ago. The melting of glaciers in the north has resulted into many floods and erosion. The operation Thorthongmi is good example. The water has dried up in the villages and some villagers are deserting their villages to another village or migrate to the towns for better livings.
If world don’t act quickily and in time, the end of the world as shown in film “2012 “ will become reality soon. Small country like Bhutan cannot contribute much to reduction of carbon emission as Bhutan only produce negligible amount but it can become one of the first countries to bear the brunt of climate changes. Bhutan and other nations must work hard to bring pressures on those countries who produce high carbon emissions before it is too late.
However on lighter side, I was surprised to see happy face of my uncles in the village. On my recent visit, he happily briefed me that now his field harvest maize twice a year. Earlier he used to grow maize only once in year as it was too cold for second sowing. Then my another uncle told me that his orange tree gave him bigger oranges since last two years and he was planning to grow more orange trees next year. They believed that it could be boon from God of Wealth whom they prayed daily for more harvest and wealth. I laughed with them over such talks. I couldn’t tell them about danger called Global Warming for fear of disappointing them on their belief of God’s blessing. Moreover, when leader cannot understand gravity of climate change, how can simple villagers like my uncles understand.
This time too in Copenhagen, 192 nations conference is going to be held on climate changes and some hoped that the change in leadership in US administration will bring some positives changes and all-encompassing packages. Meanwhile, in Bhutan climate change is not an alien idea but realized nightmares. This year, Bhutan experienced series of earthquakes in eastern Bhutan. Some orthodox people blamed that the natural disater in Bhutan become prominent after democracy which could be due to infidelity of government and people in accepting power from king( likened to God), the truth is these people are not thinking beyond their Pond (Like frog in the pond). Global warming has played its sinister role since few years ago. The melting of glaciers in the north has resulted into many floods and erosion. The operation Thorthongmi is good example. The water has dried up in the villages and some villagers are deserting their villages to another village or migrate to the towns for better livings.
If world don’t act quickily and in time, the end of the world as shown in film “2012 “ will become reality soon. Small country like Bhutan cannot contribute much to reduction of carbon emission as Bhutan only produce negligible amount but it can become one of the first countries to bear the brunt of climate changes. Bhutan and other nations must work hard to bring pressures on those countries who produce high carbon emissions before it is too late.
However on lighter side, I was surprised to see happy face of my uncles in the village. On my recent visit, he happily briefed me that now his field harvest maize twice a year. Earlier he used to grow maize only once in year as it was too cold for second sowing. Then my another uncle told me that his orange tree gave him bigger oranges since last two years and he was planning to grow more orange trees next year. They believed that it could be boon from God of Wealth whom they prayed daily for more harvest and wealth. I laughed with them over such talks. I couldn’t tell them about danger called Global Warming for fear of disappointing them on their belief of God’s blessing. Moreover, when leader cannot understand gravity of climate change, how can simple villagers like my uncles understand.
Second Chance in Love after Betrayal
It is 12:00 midnight.Sleep is far away from my system. I am sitting reclined on the wall with laptop on my lap, gazing at white screen without iota of idea about what I am doing. Today, I think of many tings. Thousand of disturbing thoughts entered into my skull. These thoughts in my skull won’t let me to drown in tranquility of sleep. I sit here on my flimsy bed trying to picture out what is didturbing me. As I cracked deep down my skull, I found that the culprit behind my sleeplessness was related to past; the pathetic failure of past.
I have hung onto my past like stubborn sheep refusing to cross towards another side of river. In the same way,I failed to notice brighter leaf of my life while longing for paler side of past. The failure in the past is blockade in present which will delay journey of my future. In the past, I have done many things regrettable. I fought with staff at lower middle secondary school which resulted into expulsion from the school. I joined school at Mongar promising myself to change from old pathetic student to new puntual student. Well, change I did, thanks to a girl who walked into my life like light of day at night of my life. Slowly, I was changed to good student appreciated by all and model of school. Her word of suggestion(which she seldom give) would melt my heart. I would cry like baby if she got hurt by me. I was then no more student whose mouth stank of wine and whose pouch would be full of marijuana.
I tried my best to reform myself and in four years I was changed guy. I did all because of my love for her. We talked of our future together. We became inseparable but cruel Time has its own sinister pace to change. we finished our class xii in 2006. I qualified for professional course outside Bhutan while she qualified for DNL(RIM). On her first day, she informed me that one guy from her class proposed to her. Then a week passed and they became friends. Meanwhile, I bade teary adieu to her. I called her everyday from Delhi from the stipend I got from government. I didn’t care if I had to eat porridge as long as I heard her voice.
Gradually, I noticed change in her. She wouldn’t pick the phone unless I pestered her with lots of call. She would either say, she left cell at room or would keep it switched off. I asked her if she was seeing someone and she told me I was unreasonably jealous.
After five months, I came back one month earlier from my semester vacation because I wanted to spend time with her. She told me she as going to Gasa Tsachu, so I preponed by three days again. When I got to Simtokha, it was Friday evening. I called her but there was no answer. So, I dropped by to see her.she was with a boy alone in her room as others went to their relatives’ home in weekend. I was accused of dropping by to spy on her.I wanted to take her to movie but she told me, she had to befriend her distant sister who was wife of lecturer as lecturer was with serious ailment. I believed her though I knew she lied. I came back to my brother’s place.
However, at around 10;30 pm, another friend from RIM called me because he wanted me to accompany him to RIM. We walked at night as there was hardly a taxi. At eleven thirty, we reached at RIM. My friend asked me if I wanted to meet her before we retreat to bed. I agreed since I was so mad to meet her but was afraid that I might be accused of night-haunting as case in high school. My friend assured me, it was okay. So, we knocked room to her door. The same boy opened the door, his hair ruffled and shirtless. I gave half smile and walked in just to see girl I loved trying to put on shirt.she saw me and she picked card nearby and told us they were playing cardgames.i didn’t know which card game it was they played on one crumpled pillow and helter-skelter bedsheets. i just muttered, “at this point of night?’’. She ordered me to get out and scratched my face. Perhaps she was too ashamed. I couldn’t bear myself and slapped her twice or thrice and ran out and jumped out down into river from RIM bridge in rage and distress. I didn’t think of dying but I needed to cool myself off. Next day, I woke up, I was in house of my friend’s sister. This incident killed fire of will in my heart and I became another ghost just breathing. I didn’t blame her. Perhaps her failure as girlfriend was my fault as boyfriend.
Then my course of my life changed into drinks and drugs. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t have to live on world of reality. I needed drinks and drugs to be on paradise of imagination until I woke up myself completely paralyzed. I took three months treatment in hospital and another three under His Grace Morong Lama who treats disabilities. At the same time, another woman walked into my life. It started as phone-call and we ended up as partner.
Now, relation with my new girlfriend runs into a year and my breakup with ex into two years. But often, I find myself thinking about my ex- though my present girl tried her best to make me happy. Somehow. I suppressed my unsuppressible feelings towards my ex-girl till this evening when my friend told me bluntly, “ your ex is in Trashigang with his Meme(husband).” It was like bolt from blue. My heart always pained at mere mention of her name.
So, I decided to re-examine my feelings. That is the reason I am sleepless at midnight. I thought and thought. Finanlly, I came to decision that I will love my ex-girl but I won’t see her ever in my life. In mean time, I will forget her but I must beg for forgiveness for slapping her. It would be in form of letter but I won’t say sorry to her husband who systematically wrecked my life.
After writing letter, I called my present girlfriend. She received at first ring. She wasn’t able to sleep just like me. “I love you, will you marry me once out of college?’’ I asked and I heard a sop as she said, “what took you so long. I waited every second for that words”
I don’t know what took me so long but I know one thing that I can trust her with my life. I thank God for giving second chance in my life.
I have hung onto my past like stubborn sheep refusing to cross towards another side of river. In the same way,I failed to notice brighter leaf of my life while longing for paler side of past. The failure in the past is blockade in present which will delay journey of my future. In the past, I have done many things regrettable. I fought with staff at lower middle secondary school which resulted into expulsion from the school. I joined school at Mongar promising myself to change from old pathetic student to new puntual student. Well, change I did, thanks to a girl who walked into my life like light of day at night of my life. Slowly, I was changed to good student appreciated by all and model of school. Her word of suggestion(which she seldom give) would melt my heart. I would cry like baby if she got hurt by me. I was then no more student whose mouth stank of wine and whose pouch would be full of marijuana.
I tried my best to reform myself and in four years I was changed guy. I did all because of my love for her. We talked of our future together. We became inseparable but cruel Time has its own sinister pace to change. we finished our class xii in 2006. I qualified for professional course outside Bhutan while she qualified for DNL(RIM). On her first day, she informed me that one guy from her class proposed to her. Then a week passed and they became friends. Meanwhile, I bade teary adieu to her. I called her everyday from Delhi from the stipend I got from government. I didn’t care if I had to eat porridge as long as I heard her voice.
Gradually, I noticed change in her. She wouldn’t pick the phone unless I pestered her with lots of call. She would either say, she left cell at room or would keep it switched off. I asked her if she was seeing someone and she told me I was unreasonably jealous.
After five months, I came back one month earlier from my semester vacation because I wanted to spend time with her. She told me she as going to Gasa Tsachu, so I preponed by three days again. When I got to Simtokha, it was Friday evening. I called her but there was no answer. So, I dropped by to see her.she was with a boy alone in her room as others went to their relatives’ home in weekend. I was accused of dropping by to spy on her.I wanted to take her to movie but she told me, she had to befriend her distant sister who was wife of lecturer as lecturer was with serious ailment. I believed her though I knew she lied. I came back to my brother’s place.
However, at around 10;30 pm, another friend from RIM called me because he wanted me to accompany him to RIM. We walked at night as there was hardly a taxi. At eleven thirty, we reached at RIM. My friend asked me if I wanted to meet her before we retreat to bed. I agreed since I was so mad to meet her but was afraid that I might be accused of night-haunting as case in high school. My friend assured me, it was okay. So, we knocked room to her door. The same boy opened the door, his hair ruffled and shirtless. I gave half smile and walked in just to see girl I loved trying to put on shirt.she saw me and she picked card nearby and told us they were playing cardgames.i didn’t know which card game it was they played on one crumpled pillow and helter-skelter bedsheets. i just muttered, “at this point of night?’’. She ordered me to get out and scratched my face. Perhaps she was too ashamed. I couldn’t bear myself and slapped her twice or thrice and ran out and jumped out down into river from RIM bridge in rage and distress. I didn’t think of dying but I needed to cool myself off. Next day, I woke up, I was in house of my friend’s sister. This incident killed fire of will in my heart and I became another ghost just breathing. I didn’t blame her. Perhaps her failure as girlfriend was my fault as boyfriend.
Then my course of my life changed into drinks and drugs. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t have to live on world of reality. I needed drinks and drugs to be on paradise of imagination until I woke up myself completely paralyzed. I took three months treatment in hospital and another three under His Grace Morong Lama who treats disabilities. At the same time, another woman walked into my life. It started as phone-call and we ended up as partner.
Now, relation with my new girlfriend runs into a year and my breakup with ex into two years. But often, I find myself thinking about my ex- though my present girl tried her best to make me happy. Somehow. I suppressed my unsuppressible feelings towards my ex-girl till this evening when my friend told me bluntly, “ your ex is in Trashigang with his Meme(husband).” It was like bolt from blue. My heart always pained at mere mention of her name.
So, I decided to re-examine my feelings. That is the reason I am sleepless at midnight. I thought and thought. Finanlly, I came to decision that I will love my ex-girl but I won’t see her ever in my life. In mean time, I will forget her but I must beg for forgiveness for slapping her. It would be in form of letter but I won’t say sorry to her husband who systematically wrecked my life.
After writing letter, I called my present girlfriend. She received at first ring. She wasn’t able to sleep just like me. “I love you, will you marry me once out of college?’’ I asked and I heard a sop as she said, “what took you so long. I waited every second for that words”
I don’t know what took me so long but I know one thing that I can trust her with my life. I thank God for giving second chance in my life.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
The Sucking Side of Me
Now, I created my own blog, I ought to give you little introduction of myself. I don’t want to sound self-obsessive guy which I am not but I feel it is my religious duty ( which I don’t believe in) to introduce sucking side of my life. I am Dorji Tenzin. I don’t have muscular little nickname but I will like to be nicknamed Tomlax after the woman I loved most in my life. Well, I still love her but she is no longer with me. Perhaps, I am too economical in my looks to walk with her in rest of her life. Perhaps, I was too protective of our relationship as I certainly was. But now I live just imagining her and meeting only in dream at night which spoiled whole next day. She pops up into my mind like TV ads.Frankly, I moved on from my relationship and I ran into another relationship with a girl whom I loathe to be together because I didn’t want to be lonely. Now, I am hooked to her like fish and she dictated grammar of my life though we are just having casual affairs. I always tell her with promise that I love her though I know I am lying from heart.I am student who hate studies. Actually, I hate my director who is cunningly good in PR and who entertain only praises from students, claiming himself to be cousin of Boney Kapoor and Anil Kapoor. I am mass communication student who never talked in classroom because I hate being pestered by my Indian classmates with their noisy rambles.Well, I grew up my sister saying I am ugly .Perhaps I am but my recent picture tells me that I am not because I know photograph doesn’t lie despite multiple manipulations. Photograph tells me I am handsome guy with beard of bear, face of black egg, body of monkey and colour of night. Oh, I have another good quality; I have voice of donkey.People always look at me awe-struck when I walk because I limp like girl with STI(diseases). I thank God for paralyzing me one and half-years ago because I innocently prayed him to return my girlfriend back to me. I tremble when I write for the same reason and I thank God for helping me to get bad marks( as I can’t finish writing) in college which will of course impede my future.And these qualities are sucking side of me.--
History of unknown man
Once upon in the sand of time,
Among the ocean of lives
He was a drop, smaller than beady dew
Unnoticed he came and same way disappeared.
Anyway who would notice drop in ocean?
Immortal he longed to be,
Yet death he desired
Like a chubby child for his mother;
They said he disappeared in thin air
Just as he did appear.
He has no name but had a mark,
Some says love for him was cruel,
Other says his dream was shattered
But he has no fame and name,
Who cares the nameless in the street.
In the spring of his life,
Buzzing like bee, they came for him
Then the season of life changed
The winter had come, nobody cared
He disappeared among dry leaves
Like dirt that just get blown.
Once he was synonym of spring
With flowers of success blooming,
Just in time when reaping came,
The fruit of success he have sown
Was slashed down by storm of autumn
The storm that long desired his downfall.
The gem of his life was taken
Then he became lifeless
His body was now breathing object
Like a tree breathing in wind,
He desired but the death
And death he embraced like love.
But then, who would care,
He was just a nameless face
Like a dry leaf in winter
That everybody tramples on,
Oh, he prayed a last prayer
"God, bless who are my foes
As you blessed you are my friend"
And this is history of nameless man.
Among the ocean of lives
He was a drop, smaller than beady dew
Unnoticed he came and same way disappeared.
Anyway who would notice drop in ocean?
Immortal he longed to be,
Yet death he desired
Like a chubby child for his mother;
They said he disappeared in thin air
Just as he did appear.
He has no name but had a mark,
Some says love for him was cruel,
Other says his dream was shattered
But he has no fame and name,
Who cares the nameless in the street.
In the spring of his life,
Buzzing like bee, they came for him
Then the season of life changed
The winter had come, nobody cared
He disappeared among dry leaves
Like dirt that just get blown.
Once he was synonym of spring
With flowers of success blooming,
Just in time when reaping came,
The fruit of success he have sown
Was slashed down by storm of autumn
The storm that long desired his downfall.
The gem of his life was taken
Then he became lifeless
His body was now breathing object
Like a tree breathing in wind,
He desired but the death
And death he embraced like love.
But then, who would care,
He was just a nameless face
Like a dry leaf in winter
That everybody tramples on,
Oh, he prayed a last prayer
"God, bless who are my foes
As you blessed you are my friend"
And this is history of nameless man.
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